Outdoor Picnic
As I rode home yesterday from work, I started to ride up my street and there in all it’s ultimate horror were the little orange signs indicating snow clearing from 07:00 - 19:00
On my new street, they actually clear the snow during the day. Something they never did were I previously lived.
I went through the 7 known stages of grief:
1) Shock and Denial - No, I am SURE I parked the car on the other side of the street. Yes, I can remember now.. Coming home from snowboarding and I thought “they’ll clear the right side first, I’ll park there”.
2) Pain and Guilt - Oh WHY did I park on the wrong side ? Ug, this is going to be hell. I’ll never find a place to park. It’s all over. They’ll tow my car, I’ll go into debt, they’ll Denver Boot it and I’ll lose everything. I hate winter.
3) Anger and Bargaining - Ok, maybe if I call the city, I can get them to change their minds. Ya, those blue collar worker types, they’re a cool bunch. They always look so relaxed. They’ll move the signs for me. I know it.
4) Depression - Who am I kidding? Oh I so long for the days when I lived at the other apartment when they cleared the snow only at night. There’s no spots now. There will be no spots tomorrow. Where did I put that bottle of prozac ?
5) The upward turn - I slept horribly. Tossing and turning all night worrying about where I would put my car in the morning. I woke up, grabbed a bowl of Cheerios (did you get that? upward turn.. Cheerios) and camped out on my front porch.. Listening and looking like a hunter trying to catch his elusive prey: the Montreal parking spot. I could hear cars starting.. there’s hope!
6) Reconstruction working through - Hang on! Someone IS leaving.. and they are on the right side of the street! I dropped the half eaten bowl of Cheerios on the front porch and raced out to grab the spot.
7) Acceptance and hope - Sitting in my car, pieces of wet cheerios stuck to my t-shirt, I sat for a while in silence admiring my new spot. Montreal in the winter isn’t such a horrible place. It’s actually quite fantastic. I love winter. Really, I do.
Wait, don’t they normally clear the other side the night after clearing the first side ?
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