9/11 in exile
September 11 is the only day I’m not happy to be living in Montreal. It makes me feel like a traitor for leaving New York, even though I left for totally unrelated reasons. Manhattan is a defiant, in-your-face kind of town, and after the attacks it seemed terribly important to stay put, to not let the terrorists scare us away.
Of course, we had some unexpected moral support back then. I remember on September 12, once we had access to the outside world again, New Yorkers were wandering around in amazement, saying, “Can you believe it? The rest of the country cares what happened to us.” We were so used to being the pariahs of Red State America that we were actually surprised.
Fortified, we hunkered down with a kind of seige mentality. At school PTA meetings, we’d debate emergency evacuation plans (i.e., what to do about children whose parents aren’t coming to pick them up because they’re dead?); we’d raise money for water coolers because we didn’t know whether the water supply was safe. We’d flinch when we heard an airplane overhead and find ourselves screaming at our children for drinking tap water. But it seemed very important to stay. Even though I was marrying a Canadian and had to commute back and forth to Montreal to see him, I hesitated to move.
Then two years ago, the Republicans had their national convention in New York, and right-wing delegates who’d been safe in the heartland went shooting their mouths off about how they were coming “to teach those New Yorkers what real American values are.” Sure, tell it to the FDNY. That’s when I finally felt I could leave New York. Why be a human shield for people who thought they were making the greater sacrifice by risking a papercut putting a pro-war bumper sticker on their Hummer?
That’s what I’ve been reminding myself all morning, but I still feel bad today, as if I’m letting down my city, which seems once again to be standing alone.
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So in a way, you did leave NYC because of 9/11. Or it at least played a role in your thinking process. “That’s when I finally felt I could leave New York.”
I’m a little saturated with 9/11 stories. I think what’s dissapointed me with the coverage is no one, not even 5 years later has really bothered to sit down and look at the reasons it happened. I don’t means in terms of lack of security, but in terms if American Foreign Policy played a role in motivating those to fly planes into the towers.
A recent poll showed that many americans think that the US Govt played a role in 9/11. I suspect though that it’s mostly conspiracy theories and not an actual reflection on what America has done to other countries and nor a real look as to why some see America in the way that they do.
Good post lisa. I enjoyed it.
Lisa, I too am a transplanted NYer. I too was in NYC on 9/11. You did not let NY down; it let you (and me) down. The republican party convention found itself in NYC by design. It was part of the plan, another chance for the republicans to exploit this disaster for their cause.
I left pretty much because of 9/11, although not immediately afterwards. There were many reasons: the dirty looks my wife and I experienced when we spoke French to our son; the reaction New Yorkers had of defiance instead of soul-searching (why did they destroy those buildings, anyway?); the fear of being locked into a city and foresaken along with 1.5 million other people (remember when all passages out of the city were closed down right after the attacks? I guess we weren’t getting out of there); the racism cabbies faced (and still do, just ask). It was all too much, and it wasn’t what I signed up for.
I didn’t run away, I found a better place to raise my children. Fortunately I had that opportunity, being married to a Montrealer. I’ll never forget what happened that day; but to me, it doesn’t exactly resemble what we’re seeing in the media today.
Justin: Have you seen “Why We Fight”? We saw it last night and it may shed new light on your question. It should be available at your video store.
Lisa & Marc: It’s odd for me because I also moved here since 9-11, but as much as I would like for it to be a snub against the government’s reaction to the attacks. It was really because of the social benefits here and because housing is more affordable.
I wonder how many other Americans moved here since they had the option because there partners were from here.